Stop Doubting, Start Creating
For the past six years I’ve worked in an office, surrounded by a small friendly team of people. From Monday to Friday I turned up to work and knew exactly what I was doing. Now fast forward to two months ago when I decided to run my blog and start my YouTube channel full time. A whole new world of uncertainty, many moments of ‘is this what I should be doing?’ and ‘oh god, I’ve got to do this all by myself now’.
It’s been a big change, one that I chose and am still happy I chose, but one that I’ve had to get my head around. I was driving back from my friend’s wedding at the weekend, thinking about life and where I was heading during my 3 hour journey. I was reliving my awkward answers from the night before when people asked me, ‘So, what do you do?’. I ended up mumbling something about what I used to do and that I had only just started doing the blogging thing full time. In the car home I cringed at these exchanges and wondered why I acted in that way? Is it because it isn’t regarded as a traditional job or was it because I needed to convince myself that it was my one?
I came to the conclusion (whilst stuck in another queue of summer holiday goers) that until I believed in what I was doing, why would anyone else pay attention? I know it sounds silly, but I felt like I had to go through those awkward, embarrassing answers to realise that I had to start believing in myself and not being scared of putting something out there. I also had to stop comparing myself to other people and give myself a chance. This path is genuinely something I’ve always wanted to do.
I wanted to share this post with you guys as I think it lends itself to any kind of situation that is new and different. A quote by Erada says, ‘If it’s both terrifying and amazing then you should definitely pursue it’ and that’s how I feel about starting this journey. Along with being dedicated and consistent with what I’m doing, I’ve got to push myself to make sure I make the most out of it. Even if I give it a go for 6 months and it doesn’t work out, I actually have to give it a go and put my all into it in order to try.
I hope this post might help someone who’s thinking about doing something different or new in their life, to be less scared about doing it; because what if you turned around years later and thought why didn’t I even try? I think you have to work hard to get the things you want in life and after a couple of months of self-doubt and anxiety I’m ready for anything this new path throws at me.